Monday, January 14, 2013

New. Gay. Awkward...but not in that order.

Hola, all!  My name is Armando and as the title states, "I am 'New. Gay. Awkward.'"  I am new to the blog world, gay in the regular world, and awkward overall.  I was born in Lubbock, TX.  That's right, I am a good ol' West Texas boy.  My lifestyle is the contrary but can't forget my roots.  I am one of those people that finds themselves in interesting predicaments.  For instance,my experience with a friend at a bar yesterday should be a good example. 

My friend offered to buy me a drink so naturally when free booze is offered I can not help but accept even if it is an offer from someone that obviously thinks I am sexy and wants me desperately, although the feelings are not mutual.  Come on now it is just rude to not accept such a nice offer of free alcohol.  While at the bar, my friend has one too many beers, and by one too many I mean one.  He proceeds to offer me a "New Year's kiss," which if we know anything about how celebration time works, the celebrating of New Year's is officially over.  He proceeds to offer to suck my tongue, among other things, which let this be a forewarning that I am pretty open and honest so beware of what I might say.  I am clearly declining the New Year's kisses and other offers. One because he is a friend that I no longer have any interest in and two because of his boyfriend.  I am not a home wrecker nor do I want to be one...again.  That's another story for another day.

After convincing him to buy me two more drinks, I am ready to leave and get home to my exciting life of Netflix and YouTube.  He offers to walk me to my car.  Geez, this friend does not know when to quit.  We approach my car and he leans in for the kiss.  I don't think my reflexes have ever worked so fast in my life.  No amount of alcohol can hinder my ability to redirect an unwanted kiss.  He finally got the hint, after 2 hours of failed attempts.  The moral of the story is to only place yourself in these situations when you know there is free booze and any easy escape route.

What had me share that particular story?  Well, it is just an example of how accepting gifts can lead to awkward predicaments and how strange things happen to great people.  Also, it is the most recent of interesting situations I found myself becoming a part of.  So what have you learned about me?  I like free booze, I have a friend that finds me irresistible, and I am from Lubbock, TX.  Until next time, do great things.